Kate felt tears welling up in her eyes. She knew it hurt inside, but didn’t want to admit that it was her fault that she couldn’t compete anymore. She remembered how good it had felt to win, but she had gotten cocky about being that good of a rider and felt invincible. That everyone was making way for her to be a star. Then she was thrown from her bike when the car hit her. She woke up in the hospital with a big cast on her knee.
The surgery repaired ligament and cartilage damage. Doctors reported that she ruptured both collateral and cruciate ligaments, and tore the meniscus.
They said said her knee would never be the same.
After getting back to the condo and putting her bike away, she went to find her daily meditation book. It had little sayings for each day, words to live by. She really needed some reassurance that she was going to be o.k. because she didn’t feel that way. She felt out of control and had no idea what she was going to do if she couldn’t race again. She had put everything else in her life on hold to train and become as good as she was. She gave up friends in high school and never actually picked a college to go to, since she had all of the endorsements supporting her financially. Giving up racing, something that has been a big part of her life, would be a big life change. New habits would have to be made to acclimate to what her life would be like now. She was feeling overwhelmed and needed some words of wisdom.
Kate looked at her little book full of inspiration, which looked very new, from the lack of use. She had gotten it as a gift from Betty for her 21st birthday. Today’s was a quote from Thomas Edison
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up,
The most certain way to succeed is to try just one more time.”
That wasn’t what she was looking for. She knew that she had to give it up. She couldn’t ride competitively anymore. As she was getting ready to throw the book across the room, there was a knock on the door. Kate got up off of the couch to answer it. It was Betty. She had met her when she was 16 and started competitive riding. Betty had become like a second Mom, with Kate’s passing away when she was 18.She didn’t feel like much of a winner now, had she let her down too?
“I’m here if you need me,” Betty said.
“I need someone to help me deal with the loss and feel better.”
“Life’s a journey that we don’t get to live all in one day. Each person’s journey is personal and unique to them. The process may feel confusing and you may not be able to fully understand what’s happening right now. That’s when we need to let go and have faith it will all work out for the best.”
“Easy for you to say, you can still ride competitively if you want to. I’ll never be able to do it again.”
“That’s your anger speaking Kate. You’ll find a new thing to do.”
“Not that I’ll have a passion for, like racing.”